A small collection of lawyer jokes. Enjoy. ;)

Q: How does a pregnant woman know she is carrying a future lawyer?
A: She has an extreme craving for baloney.

Q: What is the legal definition of 'Appeal'?
A: Something a person slips on in a grocery store.

Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 12?
A: Your Honor.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.

Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A: The caterer.

Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one.

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand.

Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
A: Senator

Q: Did you hear they just released a new Barbie doll called 'Divorced Barbie'?
A: It comes with half of Ken's things and alimony.

Q: What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?
A: Jewelry.

Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A: Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.

Q: What's the difference between lawyers and accountants?
A: At least accountants know they're boring.

Q: What do you call a lawyer who doesn't chase ambulances?
A: Retired.

Q: Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.